I’ve had the compose window open here for a while now. Maybe an hour.
I’m still here. Here at the compose window. Here at this address. Here on this planet. Here.
Every now and then something happens and I think, “I should blog about this.” But that happens so infrequently anymore. More often it goes on Twitter, and even that happens less than it used to.
I have a new job. I started six weeks ago today. In the span of those six weeks, I have gone through such a gamut of emotions. I love my job. I love the new challenges. My brain… does not. I have experienced crazy levels of stress and incredible highs and lows and mostly exhaustion. Each day finds me faced with a ridiculous to-do list and some days it just CLICKS and boom, I’m off. I love those days. Other days, something short-circuits. Misfires. Stops working. Refuses to start in the first place. I flounder, pick something up, start it, realize I need to do something else, start that, move on to the third thing. Look at the clock, which is NOT SLOWING DOWN SLOW DOWN DAMMIT. Sometimes I look at my calendar and cry. Not really. But really. In my head.
I need to retrain. My body, for one. I am weak and minimal effort makes me sore. There is a gym at my new job. It’s free. I need to get in there and MOVE.
I also need to retrain my mind. I have spent the past few years reducing the amount of information I take in into little bits, so that when I need to ingest more, it’s nigh impossible. I don’t watch movies anymore, and hour-long TV shows are almost too long. Read? Only if the gist can be summed up in 140 characters. It’s taken me so long to finish an entire book. I had last week off for Spring Break and I read more in that week than I’ve read the entire year. It felt… decadent. And hard. It was hard to do.
Needless to say I haven’t written anything in a while. I have work stuff to write. Fun stuff to write. And I’d like to write here again.
So I’ll begin stretching.